The elusive G-spot is one of the most hotly debated areas when it comes to women’s sexual health. But despite what you may have been told in your (less-than-great) seventh grade sex education class, the G-spot most definitely exists and is absolutely accessible.
“The G-spot is the urethral sponge hitting up against the vaginal wall,” explains Carolanne Marcantonio, LMSW, a senior sex therapist and co-founder of Wise Therapy. “Similar to an erect penis, the sponge gets bigger when aroused, so you can find it better when you’re turned on.”
That said, some people might think the G-spot doesn’t exist simply because not every woman has one. Plus, the G-spot wraps around the urethra, which can make you feel like you need to pee and isn’t always pleasurable, says Marcantonio. So if you don’t like this sensation, no harm, no foul—just skip the G-spot when you play.
But if you’ve stumbled across your G-spot a few times and were like, “OMGGGG”—listen up. It’s not just your G-spot that feels amazing. “When the G-spot is stimulated, it pushes against the mons pubis, which pushes against the clitoris and clitoral ligaments, which causes pleasure,” says Marcantonio. “It’s all connected.”
Now that you know the G-spot exists, how do you find it?
First things first, you need to know where to look. The G-spot is nestled between your pubic bone and the front of your cervix, about two inches into the vaginal opening on the front wall of your vagina (the one closer to your stomach, not your back). And while it’s long been regarded as a bit of a human sexuality mystery, once you find it, you can unlock that ever-elusive dual vaginal and clitoral orgasm (yes!).
But how, exactly, do you find your G-spot? Some tips here:
- Before you take your fingers on a spelunking mission, get into a sexy mood. When you’re aroused, more blood rushes to your pelvic region and the spot becomes raised and easier to find. So light some candles, fantasize, fire up some feminist porn, or do whatever else you like.
- Once you’re all hot and bothered, Marcantonio recommends “inserting your finger(s) two to three inches up, curving the finger(s), and then rocking them towards the belly button.”
- If you’re playing with a partner or a toy, you can also enter the vagina from behind, just keep the pressure pointing towards your belly button.
- Your G-spot might feel rougher than other parts of your vagina, or feel like a ridged area, but that’s not always the case. “There’s no specific texture you need to be looking for,” says Marcantonio. “The best way to find it is to experiment.”
Once you find your G-spot (good job!), what should you do now?
Use firm, deep pressure to stroke the area. Try a rhythmic circular motion or more of an up-and-down technique, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, sexuality educator and author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. Another popular method is moving your fingers in a “come here” motion (kind of appropriate, right?).
Keep in mind that the G-spot isn’t actually on the vaginal front wall. Instead, it’s something you can feel through the center of the front wall, or a bit off to the left or right of the center. Since it’s not right there, you may need more pressure than you think to hit the jackpot.
If you’re struggling to find the G-spot with your fingers, or just want more pressure than your fingers can produce, Marcantonio recommends trying a curved non-vibrating sex toy, such as the stainless steel Njoy Pure Wand dildo. Pro tip: Lube up the toy before inserting it slowly and making a rocking motion towards your belly button. Also clutch: The 10 Best Vibrators To Hit That Sweet G-Spot Every Time.
If it’s feeling good so far, increase the rhythm, and create a lot of friction as you go on to boost your chances of orgasm. “Stimulating the area will create sensations if it’s a hot spot for you. Some people describe a warm, flushing feeling throughout their genitals and body,” says Fulbright. “Others says they become a lot wetter.” Even better, she says women have reported G-spot orgasms feeling fuller, more intense, more emotional, and more full-bodied than the clitoral variety. Of course, if you don’t reach the Big O, but it feels crazy good anyway, that’s awesome, too. Getting to know your body better is always a good thing.
“G-spot sensation also varies based on the menstrual cycle,” says Marcantonio. In fact, “all pleasure spots can change as the body progresses through its cycle.” So don’t freak out if the sensation changes throughout the month—that’s just your body doing its thing.
Can stimulating your G-spot help you squirt?
If you’re interested in squirting, a.k.a. female ejaculation, tapping into your G-spot might be the way to go. While not everybody can squirt, and ejaculation does not equal orgasm, “G-spot stimulation is often encouraged in exploring one’s potential to squirt since the ejaculate often occurs when a woman is peaking—not necessarily climaxing—during G-spot play,” explains Fulbright.
Female ejaculation comes from “the buildup of fluid in the urethral sponge,” adds Marcantonio. If enough fluid builds up and is followed up by intense pressure (both on the G-spot and the clitoris), ejaculation can occur. It won’t always happen—and tbh, it depends on how hydrated you are—but if squirting excites you, it’s definitely worth a try. Just, uh, remember to put a towel down before you play.
Are there any sex positions that stimulate the G-spot?
Glaaaad you asked. Generally speaking, positions that (a) give you more control over your movements (you on top) or (b) allow for deeper penetration (like doggy style) will increase your odds of a G-spot orgasm. More here: 10 Sex Positions That Will Hit Your G-Spot Every. Single. Time. Yeah, you’re welcome.
Most importantly, remember that every body is different. So if your first attempt at G-spot stimulation isn’t a total success, just keep experimenting. After all, practice makes perfect, right?
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